Ah, jeez…it’s basketball, don’tcha know
What a time for college basketball to revisit the great white north for the first time in 18 years. Just as Fargo co-conspirator Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) is paroled for good behavior, he finds himself in trouble with the law once again, when plucky police investigator Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) uncovers a plot involving an effort to get Jerry’s grandson Scotty, Jr. into the University of Minnesota by photo-shopping his head onto the body of Gopher hoops great Kevin McHale. The gambit unraveled when Marge noticed, upon closer examination, a courtside ad for the all-new 1980 model year AMC Eagle. At last report, Mr. Lundegaard was said to be cooperatin’ with the investigation.
2019 top overall seed Duke loves the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Its last two trips to Final Fours in the Twin Cities resulted in national titles. In 1992, the Blue Devils became the first squad since John Wooden’s UCLA dynasty in 1973 to claim consecutive crowns, routing Michigan’s ‘Fab Five’ Wolverines, 71–51. The Most Outstanding Player of that event was none other than current Arizona State coach Bobby Hurley. 10 years later, Coach K’s Devils made a successful return to the North Star State, clinching their third championship with an 82–72 victory over Lute Olson’s Arizona Wildcats. Whether Duke can transfer its winning formula from the late, great H.H.H. Metrodome, host of the previous two Final Fours, to the brand new U.S. Bank Stadium remains to be seen.
Now we shift our attention to Mile Marker 0 of the tournament road, Dayton, OH, for the First Four.
Prairie View A&M over Fairleigh Dickinson — PVAMU fans old enough to remember the Panthers last trip to the NCAA tournament in 1998 are likely to still be holding a grudge over the outcome; a 110–52 bludgeoning at the hands of #1 seed Kansas.
Belmont over Temple — (with apologies to Jimmy Fallon) Thank you, retiring Temple coach Fran Dunphy, for leading the Owls to one last tournament. Unfortunately, you will lose to a school whose most prominent alumnus is Hee Haw’s Minnie Pearl.
North Dakota State over North Carolina Central — As intriguing as it would be to have NCCU match up with its next-door Durham neighbor Duke in the Round of 64, the Bison will take inspiration from its football team’s recent White House visit and win bigly.
Arizona State over St. John’s — In the event of a tie at the end of regulation, in lieu of an overtime period, the game will be decided by a one-on-one matchup between former Final Four participant coaches Bobby Hurley and Run TMC member Chris Mullin.
Next stop, Sweet Sixteen…
EAST
DUKE: Carry on wayward Zion. The Blue Devils were 26–2 with F Zion Williamson in the lineup; 3–3 with him on the bench. Williamson, owner of the nation’s second-best field goal conversion percentage (69.3%) is in the lineup.
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Veteran tournament coach Ben Howland has more than extensive postseason experience on his side. Senior G Quinndary Weatherspoon ranked second in the Southeastern Conference with 18.2 points per game.
LOUISIANA STATE: Will Wade coaching drama notwithstanding, the Tigers still have Sweet Sixteen-level talent. The backcourt tandem of Tremont Waters and Skylar Mays placed one and two respectively on the SEC steals leaderboard.
LOUISVILLE: Despite an up-an-down season that included a 2–6 swoon during the month of February, the Cardinals made the most of their opportunities from the free throw line, topping the Atlantic Coast Conference with a 77.5% conversion rate.
WEST
GONZAGA: The most undeserving of a top seed in the aftermath of the Zags egg-laying loss to Saint Mary’s in the WCC final, GU nevertheless should still have points to burn in the early rounds, having led the country with nearly 89 points per contest.
FLORIDA STATE: Legendary basketball blueblood FSU will try to atone for the football squad’s bowl-less effort last fall with a follow-up run to the Elite Eight. The Seminoles sport a deep roster that garners significant contributions from 11 different players.
TEXAS TECH: For a school with a football program not noted for its staunch defense, the Red Raiders sure can field a stingy starting basketball five. TT ranks fourth nationally in scoring defense (59.3 ppg) and second in field goal percentage defense (36.8%).
MICHIGAN: The Raiders could meet a school in the Sweet Sixteen with a football program well renowned for defense. The Wolverines, last season’s national runner-up, can also stymie opposing offenses, placing second in scoring defense (58.6 ppg).
SOUTH
VIRGINIA: It’s been a chore to avoid using the letters U, M, B and C around the ( )avalier ( )asketball nation the past year after its devastating loss to the 16th-seeded Retrievers. Virginia will count on the country’s top rated scoring defense to deliver.
KANSAS STATE: Apparently, the ability to hold opponent points to a minimum is a laudable characteristic, as the Wildcats are the fourth of the top-four scoring defenses favored to advance to the Sweet Sixteen. KSU rated third (59.2 ppg).
PURDUE: If any tourney participant is poised to thrash this rash of defensive prowess, it would be the Boilermakers. Purdue led the Big Ten in three-pointers and offensive rebounding, and boasts the league’s top scorer in G Carsen Edwards (23 ppg).
TENNESSEE: If it’s fundamentals ye be cravin’, look no further than the Volunteers. UT displayed a Peyton Manning-esque penchant for passing the ball, placing third nationally in assist-to-turnover ratio, and fourth with more than 18 assists per game.
MIDWEST
NORTH CAROLINA: As is often the case, the two apparent best teams in the tournament are separated by just 10 miles. While Duke is the top overall seed, the Tar Heels rate second in the country in rebound margin (9.7 rpg) and assists per contest (19).
KANSAS: I know, it’s been a whole calendar year since the Jayhawks won the Big 12 Conference, but it would be foolish to overlook them. KU still has the services of one Dedric Lawson, who led the league with 19 points and more than 10 rebounds per game.
HOUSTON: Phi Swarma Defensa pledges Houston more than 30 years after the heyday of Guy Lewis’ back-to-back national runner-up campaigns. The Slama Jama mantra has been replaced by a defense that held opponent shooting success to a national low 36.7%.
KENTUCKY: What tournament would be complete without a look at what the NBA pipeline spigot is going to unleash on the league in mere months. These Wildcats hit the boards hard, placing fifth nationally with a rebounding margin average of nine per game.
